Perfectionists often struggle with getting their ideas off the ground, either in starting them altogether, or otherwise starting but then not being able to move on as not 100% please with what they have created or thought about. In the end they are left with nothing as they never get to finish what was planned. Here are ways to stop your perfectionism getting in the way.

There are two types of perfectionism – according to author Dr Tal Ben-Shahar – one that is adaptive, i.e. more helpful, and one that is less helpful. Adaptive perfectionist are always wanting to develop their skills continually. They continue to raise their standards and get pleasure out of their desire to improve. This can be healthier, however if it gets in the way of stopping you doing the things you want to do, it can  become a problem. Those that are never satisfied with what they achieve – maladaptive perfectionists. If something is not perfect, they will dismiss it. They may experience fear of failure or anxiety. These are some of the traits that we will look at now.

We will look at how you can start to overcome any perfectionist traits you have. In a nutshell this means that you would need to make a start of the project that you want to do, make a decision to continue and not to overthink the outcome. So let’s break this down to show how we can start to do this.

1.Recognise your perfectionist thinking

Firstly, it is about recognising when you are having perfectionist thoughts. Do you think that you have not achieved enough unless the standard is very high, even if for example you are doing something for the very first time? Do you feel that if you make a mistake,  this is a failure, and therefore you must not share this with others or continue? Are you constantly thinking about what other people might think, and if there are any flaws, think that your ideas will be rejected? Do you start to feel stressed or anxious if things are not going to plan?

If this sounds like you on a regular basis – then these are signs of perfectionist thinking and we need ways to stop your perfectionism way of thinking.

2.Recognise your perfectionist behaviour

And then you may be able to detect perfectionist behaviour in yourself.  Do you set yourself very high goals, and then use a great deal of time planning, redoing work and will not move on until the work is perfect? Or do you not like to take the risk in the first place? This is if you are focusing on all the things that you are not able to do or may get in the way, rather than what you can do. Would you react badly to criticism of work that you do?  Would you find it difficult to delegate tasks to other people, as ‘ you are the only one that can things right’? These are examples of perfectionist behaviours

So if we find out that we have these thoughts or behaviours – we can start to challenge them.

3. Challenge your perfectionist thinking

We can start with thinking about how realistic your thinking is. Think about the thoughts that you have about what you want to achieve. How realistic are those thoughts, and more importantly, how do you know that your thoughts are realistic? What evidence do you have that your thinking is correct? Doing the thing actual thing that you are being negative about will help to challenge those thoughts. Then you will be able to see if your thinking were correct and help stop your perfectionism

For example, if you think that you have to do a task perfectly first time – challenge this. Why does it need to be perfect? If it isn’t, does it really matter that much? Would you be able to deal with the outcome if it’s not perfect? These are the type of questions you can ask about any situation. 

You can think about what other people would say. If you have a friend who tends to say more positive things, what would they think about your thoughts. Would they agree with you? This helps to put the thing you want to do in perspective.

And then think about the bigger picture. If it’s not perfect, would this matter to the thing that you want to achieve in the end. Ask yourself would it not be more beneficial to just get started? Also, think about what would happen if you did not manage to start or continue with what you want to do. Think about the things that you would be able to do afterwards, even if things are not perfect the first time around. Now you can challenge and stop your perfectionism getting in the way.

4. Challenge your perfectionist behaviour

So once you start to recognise the behaviours that normally stop you from the things you want to do. Challenge your behaviour. If you tend to do things one way, try to do the opposite, no matter the outcome and then see if it mattered in the end. If you set yourself large hard to reach goals, instead set yourself smaller goals. Encourage people to criticise your work – and then use this as positive feedback instead. Give things to others to do when you can and be accepting of the results. And then review the outcomes. Were things as bad as what they thought they would be before you started? Usually they are not.

5. Make a plan to tackle your procrastination.

Now set yourself a plan of how to get started on your project. If you tend to do things when you feel like it, then instead plan a time when you do the project, come what may. Stick to that time no matter what. Find out when the best time to work on your project every day. Set yourself a deadline of when you will complete the project or even better tell a friend when you intend to finish by.

Choose what you will start with first and do not move on until it is finished. And once you have achieved what you set out to do, plan a way to reward yourself. A nice cup of tea and cake, A spa retreat. A day in bed. Whatever you think will make you feel better about doing something that you know is difficult for you to do.

So now you know how you can challenge your perfectionist thoughts and behaviours by recognising for yourself when it is happening, and then taking the steps to challenge these and move on with your plan despite these. And finally, create your master plan of how you will move on, create and enjoy a more fulfilled life doing what it is you really want to do. Now you can stop your perfectionism getting in the way.