We all have big dreams about the things that we want to do in life. But it may seem that other things always tend to get in the way. Well… sometimes that thing that is getting in the way is in fact YOU. A great starting point would be to build your self-esteem and confidence. It may be that you don’t totally believe that you can achieve or can do the things that you want.

So what do you do when you don’t have the self-esteem and confidence to move forward and do what you want in life? You can start to improve your confidence by challenging your negative thoughts, practising self-care and having more acceptance of yourself.

Start to boost self-esteem with more self acceptance

Build your self-esteem and confidence so that you can start to have the belief in your abilities to make changes in your life. How do we do that?

Self acceptance is important here. We can all have negative thoughts in our mind about what we are able to achieve or what our abilities actually are. In order to change this, we need to start accepting and appreciating ourselves by thinking about the good qualities we do have. Initially, we can start to increase our self belief by thinking about the positive things other people often say to us. Then we can start to think about what we are able to do for ourselves and others. Really highlight to ourselves what the good points about us are.

Challenge your negative thoughts

When we think negatively about ourselves, this affects our ability to build self-esteem and confidence. We can instead stop and think of more positive and realistic things about ourselves. We can start challenging those negative thoughts by thinking about why we have those thoughts about ourselves? Who told us these things? What evidence do we have that they are true? Sometimes, we can hold onto the negative things that we were told when younger and still think this as true now we are an adult. If we start to ask ourselves if these things are still or always true, or check if we think other people have this opinion about us, we can start to get a more realistic picture of ourselves. We can even ask those other people outright for a realistic opinion.

Improve your confidence by nurturing wellbeing

Next, we can start to practice more self-care and self acceptance by thinking about what helps our wellbeing, and what are the nice things we can do for ourselves? If we can’t think of anything we may want to do, instead, think of the things we would normally do for other people? Or think about what other people do to build self belief and confidence for themselves. There’s no harm in trying these things to see if they work for you.

Try to do a small thing for yourself every day that makes you feel great or more alive. This may be doing something you enjoy, or doing more of that thing. Or it may be to have the luxury of doing nothing at all. If we are constantly busy, finding the time to chill and relax, read a book, listen to music could really help. Really start to notice what you can do for yourself and whether you need to do more of it. And then think about how it makes you feel. This should help to improve your self-worth and in turn improve your self-esteem.

Having a support group builds self-esteem and confidence.

Think about the people that you have around you. Do they tend to spur you on or encourage you? Do they help you to do fun things? Or do you not feel so good when you are around them? You may not feel that you are good enough for them. Try to find the people that encourage and support you no matter what you are feeling, and aim to see less of those that don’t make you feel so good. This could mean looking at your circle of friends, family and even professionals to find positive people in your life. You should have at least one person who helps you to increase your confidence and build self-esteem in you, to help you make changes in your life and support you as you are.

Improve yourself each day by working towards your interests

Start to think about what it is that you would really like to do if you had the self belief. Then with the support of those around you start to make plans towards it. It doesn’t have to be huge steps. It could be as simple as reading about a particular subject, or finding out places you can go. Research can be a good start. Then take your steps from there. What can you do next? Book something to go to see, buy equipment to get started, join a group. Think about what would bring you closer to doing more of something that you really want to do.

Ask others what to do to build self-esteem and confidence

If you don’t know what that thing is, you do now know who your positive supportive people are. Ask them. What do you think I’m good at? What do you think I enjoy doing? You might find that they may want to do similar things to you, or know someone with a similar interest. Another way to build your self belief is to help others. If others have helped you in life, what can you do for them? What do they enjoy? Do you want to do similar things for them? They may even just want a simple chat and a cup of coffee? Start to think about the small ways to help others and this will help your confidence and belief in yourself as you know you have something to offer.

So to sum it all up, you have now found ways to accept yourself by doing nice things for yourself and recognising the good qualities in yourself. You have now surrounded yourself with positive people, the ones that will support you in what you really want to do. Also, you are helping others when they need a little support too. If you continue to do these things on a regular basis, you should start to feel a little better in yourself and in turn this will increase your self-esteem and confidence, to build a better life for yourself.